Family, Life

Did you hug your child today?

Many years ago, I read this sentence in Reader’s Digest where the author saw a sticker behind a car – “Did you hug your child today?”

Pujya Haribhai Kothari, a renowned thinker, philosopher, and spiritual guru, once shared an incident. He met a 75 year old man who complained to Haribhai saying that – “My son is not in my control. We have no relations, we do not speak to each other. When he comes home from office, I have to go out to temple or market and when we are at home, he is either busy on his computer or watching television, but we do not speak.”

Haribhai asked – “Grandpa, tell me when was the last time you sat with your son, kept your hand on his shoulder or on his head? Do you remember?” The old man was silent for a while gazing at the sky and thinking as he murmured….”not in the last 40 years at least .In all these years I haven’t made him sit next to me or even kept my hand on son’s shoulder….hmmm 40 years”.

Haribhai gave an analogy and said “in our village when a lady of the house working in the kitchen sees a utensil falling from the shelf and making hurting sound rotating on the floor….’tung tandang tung’….!!!!! She will simply place her hand on the head of that vessel and it will become quite.” Haribhai exaggerated and said, “If this non-living vessel could get the warmth of hand and be at peace, I’m sure your son would feel more warmth when you do the same.”

I asked myself the same question, Did I hug my child today? And what is this ‘hug’ all about? Yes, a tight embrace of course is a ‘hug’ but also a wink, a hand on shoulder, a flying kiss, bringing a surprise chocolate or a small gift, a loving tap on cheek, a warm press of the palm, a gesture, a small ‘I Love you’ note on the pillow or fridge, a look with a positive reinforcement or endorsement, a nod, thumbs up, Hi-five and …and…!! As our children are sensitive by nature they will feel the depth of love in these simple genuine gestures.

Since that day, at home as I come from office and also before we go to bed, either my kids Kshitij (30), Tirth (26) and Tithi (26) would hug me or I will hug them tight as if there won’t be any tomorrow. This has really helped us to bond deeper. We share things with open mind and without being prejudicial or judgmental. Of course we too have differences of opinions and fights, but we will not hesitate to go back and say sorry, hug or even cry. We do not breed ego among ourselves as with every hug we dissolve more into each other.

When I try and hug my dad who is 85, he feels uncomfortable and understandably so. Harindra Dave, a great Poet of Gujarati Literature, had once said – “પ્રેમ વાચા માંગે છે તેમ ત્વચા પણ.” (“Love demands Touch, just as much as Words.”)

….and today, on Children’s Day, if you believe that there is a child living in all of us, then let’s expand the scope of this question – did you hug your child today?

—————————————————

“प्यार की झप्पी की दो बूंदे,
रिश्तों को पोलियो से बचाती हैं l”

“Pyar ki Jhappi ki do bunde
rishton ko Polio se bachati hain.”

Two drops of a loving hug
immunise relationships from Polio.

About rajivvaishnav

Rajiv Vaishnav Managing Partner Cornerstone Venture Partners Rajiv is Managing Partner at Cornerstone Venture Partners, a global tech VC fund focused on Consumer business enablers (such as Applied AI) and Enterprise / SME BI solutions (vertical SaaS, AR & VR applications, Blockchain for enterprise, etc.). Cornerstone is a Pre-series A / Series A fund, the first institutional support for promising tech ventures enabling growth and customer access in unique ways. Rajiv brings over 35 years of solid experience in building brands, developing teams, expanding the market share and building organisations from grass root upwards. He was heading the Ecosystem & Partnerships Developmentt at Jio-GenNext Hub, A Reliance Enterprise. In this role, Rajiv is responsible to evangelize the Start-Up ecosystem, identify and connect with the deserving start-ups, academia, government agencies, mentors, angel investors and VC networks globally. Since 2002 till end of 2015, Rajiv was an integral part of NASSCOM’s senior management team. He headed NASSCOM’s first regional office in Mumbai and grown to manage the membership outreach nationally. He initiated many path breaking initiatives at NASSCOM including Cyber Safety initiatives with enforcement agencies, start-up incubators with State Governments under 10K Startup programme, evangelised Animation and Gaming industry and nurtured it, lead the ISO Standards initiative to establish a Global BPO and Product Quality Framework Standards out of India. He helped establish NASSCOM’s emerge forum in its formative days. At NASSCOM, he was enthusiastic about developing new IT destinations in the country, and fostering platforms for Industry-academia interactions as he believed that these were the two most critical requirements for the Indian IT industry to maintain its globally advantageous position. Rajiv was a member of AICTE (WR) and of IQAC of the SNDT Women’s University and Trustee at Dewang Mehta Foundation Trust. With Harish Mehta, the first President of TiE, Mumbai and the first Chairman of NASSCOM, Rajiv co-founded TiE in India. He built the organisation bottoms-up and nurtured the start-up ecosystem in India since early 2000. He got early exposure to work with TiE in Silicon Valley and investors, entrepreneurs and mentors such as Kanwal Rekhi, Suhas Patil, Desh Deshpande, Sridhar Iyengar, Raj Jaswa, Shabir Bhatia, Raj Desai and many others… He has worked with Indo-American Chamber of Commerce (IACC), Franchising Association of India (FAI) and US- Environment Resource Center (US-ERC). In the corporate sector, his experience includes stints with two U.S. Freight Forwarding giants Emery Worldwide and Air Express International in sales & marketing. In 2000, Rajiv was invited by the U.S. Government to participate in their International Visitors programme on US Trade and World Market. Rajiv has administered several outward trade delegations including those to International Franchise Expo ’99, USA, Emerging Companies delegations to CeBIT Australia and Silicon Valley. He has represented NASSCOM in the International Advisors Council to the Mayor of Luwan District in Shanghai, China and E-Sports Symposium in Seoul, Korea. Rajiv is a Science graduate from Mumbai University. He is passionate about music and literature. His blog url: www.rajivvaishnav.com
View all posts by rajivvaishnav →

11 thoughts on “Did you hug your child today?

  1. Fantastic article on parent – child bonding. Very well written with simple vocabulary with high intensity emotional flavour.

  2. Fantastic, very well said Sir.
    touch is replaced by touch screens, kisses are replaced by misses and hugs are all but in emoticons.
    Emoticons are cool but can never be warm , all one needs is a pat on the arm.
    A thumps up in various colours from yellow to sunburn, can never be as personal as a tight hug and say well done my son..

  3. Fantastic, very well said Sir.
    touch is replaced by touch screens, kisses are replaced by misses and hugs are all but in emoticons.
    Emoticons are cool but can never be warm , all one needs is a pat on the arm.
    A thumps up in various colours from yellow to sunburn, can never be as personal as a tight hug and say well done my son..
    We are getting closer to people distant and far, but Hug, kiss , hold the near ones is the need of the hour.

  4. Loved it… Reminded me of my dad. It’s so true that love demands touch, as much as words..Missing him, his hugs and talks both😔

  5. Excellent… very well said and explained. These easy gestures can really create wonders and make parent-child bonding much stronger. 👍👍

  6. Excellent… very well said and explained. These easy gestures can really create wonders and make parent-child bonding much stronger. 👍👍

  7. Very nicely explained Rajiv uncle in simple words with wonderful examples …. “प्यार की झप्पी की दो बूंदे,
    रिश्तों को पोलियो से बचाती हैं l” …. vah vah!!!

  8. Just read. Timely homily. After heavy snowfall and strong winds that paralyzed JerseyCity on Thursday we (Grandpa, Grandma, son, daughter in law and grandson) are in Cancun, Mexico, enjoying sunshine and bracing weather. But this warmth is no substitute for the warmth of a hug. Grateful, feel blessed to receive your sharing Rajivji. HappyThoughts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *