It is told about Dr. William James, the greatest American psychologist, that when he went to visit a Madhouse for the first time, he visited the hospital where they were treating mad people, Mad asylum. People in there were so crazy that they were placed in separate cells.
The Psychologist walked pass each cell and had a deep look into the eyes of each mad person out there. After completing the round in the ward, he straight away drove down to his house and locked himself in his bedroom. He had fever. The wife was worried.
She said, “What has happened? You were perfectly okay when you left.”
He said, “Don’t talk to me. I’m in no mood to talk.”
He slipped under the blankets and remained ill for two or three days. Everybody was worried. The doctor said, “Nothing is wrong.”
After some time, his wife knocked the door and asked him if he was all right? The Psychologist said, “I just visited the mental hospital. What I saw was very frightening. There was hardly any difference between People in there and me. The same can happen to me.” That made him tremble; and that made him very alert.
Inside your mind, continuous madness exists — and you know it. But it goes on like an undercurrent. On the surface you manage well.
He said, “Many a times in anger, jealousy, disgust, depression, excitement, rage, lust, fear, shame, frustration I too have crossed that thin line of sanity. I am lucky that I could come back, where as they have crossed the line and stayed on the other side. I am worried, what if one day I cross the line and never return?”
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Q: It seems to me that I am becoming really mad.
Osho: You have always been mad, it is not that you are becoming mad. You are becoming a little bit more alert about it.
Mind is madness. That’s why you don’t look within. If you look within, you will find a mad rush. Not only one mad person is there, there is a mad crowd. And the whole crowd is at each others necks. That’s why I go on saying Look within. So says Socrates, so says Buddha, so says Jesus — Look within. The kingdom of God is within.
Nobody is willing to look within. They listen, they say Okay, sometime we will look. But nobody is ready to look. Why? Because when you look within, you don’t see a kingdom of God, you see a madhouse. When you look within, you don’t see the blissfulness of Buddha, you see just neurosis. You see the same thoughts repeating, repeating — as if a gramophone record has got stuck and goes on repeating the same, the same, the same.
When you meditate you start becoming aware. When you become aware you feel you are becoming mad. No! If you are becoming aware that you are not becoming mad, you are getting away from it, you are going beyond it.
A person who is aware that he is mad is already on the threshold of sanity. A mad person is never aware that he is mad. You can go to the madhouse and ask mad people. They will laugh. Nobody will be ready to say that he is mad. They think the whole world is mad except themselves. This is a criterion of a mad person — he thinks the whole world is mad except himself.
What about a sane person? Lao Tzu says, The whole world seems to be very intelligent except me. The whole world seems to be very clear except me — I am confused. The world seems to have clarity, transparency of mind, I am muddle-headed. The whole world is clever and wise, I am an idiot. Look what Lao Tzu is saying. This is the indication of a sane man — the sanest ever.
You are coming closer to sanity because you are becoming aware of your madness. Watch it. Don’t get scared and don’t rush out. Go into it. Look into it. Persistent perseverance is needed.
An anecdote:
A man was charged with striking a fellow female passenger in a double-decker bus. The magistrate asked him what his excuse was.
Well, Sir, it was like this, replied the culprit. She sat on the seat beside me on the lower deck of the bus. Then she opened her bag, took out her purse, closed her bag, opened her purse, took out a dime, closed her purse, opened her bag, put back the purse and closed her bag.Then she noticed the conductor was going upstairs, so she opened her bag, took out her purse, closed her bag, opened her purse, put in her dime, closed her purse, opened her bag, put in her purse and closed her bag. Then she saw the conductor coming down the stairs so she opened her bag, took out her purse, closed her bag, opened her purse, took out a dime and closed her….
The magistrate could not bear it any longer. Stop! he cried. You will drive me crazy.
Thats just what happened to me, Sir, said the man.
That is what is happening to your mind continuously. If you watch it, it feels as if it will drive you crazy, but watching is the only way to go beyond it. Otherwise whether you know it or not, you are crazy. Just by not knowing it you don’t become a sane person.
Watch it, go into it, And I know you must be getting crazy. Get more centred in this alertness. The more alert you become, the further away the noise of the mind will go. When you are really centred, the mind disappears — because it is the same energy that is involved in the thoughts which is used in centring. When the energy becomes centring, thoughts simply flop dead. They don’t have any energy. They disappear.
Osho, Tao: The Pathless Path, Vol 2, Ch 12, Q 6 / The Beloved, Vol 2 Chapter #7 : They Kill Lust With Lust (excerpts)
हर आदमी में होते हैं दस बीस आदमी,
जिस को भी देखना हो कई बार देखना निदा फ़ाज़ली
har aadmī meñ hote haiñ das biis aadmī,
jis ko bhī dekhnā ho ka.ī baar dekhnā NIDA FAZLI
Human being is a sum of multi personalities
keep observing him repeatedly for knowing him well.