Be Loving.

The Universe only pretends to be made of matter,
secretly, it is made of LOVE. – Daniel pinchbeck.

Do you think a man can love one person and hate another at the same time?

No, it is impossible. A loving man, even when he is alone, is full of love because love is his nature; it has nothing to do with your relationship to him. An angry man is angry even when he is alone; a man full of hate hates even when he is alone. Observe such a man when he is alone, and you will feel his anger even though he may not be showing his anger to anyone in particular at the time. His whole being simply overflows with hate, with anger. Conversely, if you see a love-filled man, you can feel him brimming over with love even when he is alone.

Flowers blooming in the jungle spread their fragrance whether there is anyone there to appreciate it or not, whether anyone is passing by or not. To be fragrant is a flower’s nature. Do not be under the illusion that a flower emits its fragrance just for you!

People should simply be full of love; it should not depend on “with whom.” But the lover wants the beloved to love only him, to love no one else. “Love me alone,” he says, but he does not know that those who cannot love all cannot love one. The wife says her husband should love only her and not show affection to anybody else, but she does not realize that such love is false and that she has caused it to be so. How can a husband who is not always full of love for everybody be loving towards his wife?

To be loving is the nature of life. One cannot be full of love for one person and devoid of love for everyone else. But mankind hasn’t been able to see this simple truth.

The father asks the child to love him, but has he ever taught the child to love the old servant in the house? Isn’t he a man too? The servant may be old, but he may also be someone’s father. No, he is just a servant, and so there is no question of being courteous or loving towards him. But this father does not realize that when he has grown old he will complain when his sons do not show him any affection. His sons could have grown into men filled with love had they been taught to love all. And then they would have revered their old father as well.

Love is not a relationship; love is a state of mind. It is an essential component of a man’s personality. Therefore, the second stage in the teaching of love is to teach the child to love all. If a child does not even replace a book properly, his attention should be drawn to the fact that it is unseemly to replace the book that way. He should be made aware of what people will think of him if he treats the book in that fashion. If you have behaved brutally, even to your dog, it indicates a shortcoming in your personality; it is proof that you are devoid of love. And one who is not full of love is not a man at all.

I have always loved a small Sufi story:

A poor man, very poor, a woodcutter, lived in the forest in a small hut. The hut was so small that he and his wife could barely sleep …only that much space was in the hut.

One night, about midnight, it was raining heavily, and the woodcutter and his wife were asleep. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door: someone wanted shelter. The wife was sleeping close to the door. The husband said to the wife, “Somebody is outside,” he said. “Some traveler, some unknown friend. Open the door. The rain is too much, and the man must have lost his way. It is a dark night, and the forest is dangerous and full of wild animals. Open the door immediately!”

Have you noticed? He said, “Some unknown friend.” You do not even befriend those you know. His attitude was one of love.

The Woodcutter said, “Some unknown friend is waiting outside. Please open the door.”

His wife said, “There is no room. There is not even enough room for the two of us. How can one more person come in?”

The old man laughed and said, “My dear, this is not a palace of a rich man, where you will always find a shortage of space. This is a poor man’s hut. Two can sleep well; three can sit. We will create space. Just open the door.”

His wife argued, “How does the question of poor and rich come into this? The plain fact is that this is a very small hut!”

The woodcutter answered, “If there is enough room in your heart, you will feel that this hut is a palace, but if your heart is narrow, even a palace would seem small. Please open the door. How can we refuse a man who has come to our door? Up to now, we have been lying down. Three may not be able to lie down, but at least three can sit. There is room for another if we all sit.”

And the door was opened. The man came in, soaking wet and he was very grateful, and they all sat and started talking and gossiping and telling stories to each other. The night had to be passed somehow because they could not sleep; there was no space. And just then, another knock ….

The old man said, “It seems someone else has come, friend, open the door. Somebody else is lost.”” and asked the guest sitting nearest the door to open it. The man said, “Open the door? There is no space.” The man, who had himself taken shelter in this hut moments before, forgot that it was not the old man’s love for him that had given him a place, but that he had found shelter because there was love in the hut. And now, some new person had come. And love must accommodate the newcomers.

But the man said, “No, it is not necessary to open the door. Don’t you see the difficulty we’re having, squatting here?”

The woodcutter said, “”My dear man, didn’t I make room for you? This was my wife’s argument too. If I had listened to her argument, you would have been in the forest, eaten by the wild animals. And you seem to be a strange man that you cannot understand that we are sitting just because of you. We are tired after a long day. I am a woodcutter — the whole day I cut the wood and then sell it in the market and then we can hardly get food once a day. Open the door. This is not your hut. If three persons can sit comfortably, four persons can sit a little closer, with a little less comfort. But we will create the space. You were allowed in because there is love here. It is still here; it has not ended with you. Open the door, please. Now we are sitting apart from each other, so we will simply huddle together. Moreover, the night is cold, and it will give us warmth and pleasure to sit so snugly together.”

Naturally he had to open the door, although reluctantly. And a man entered, and he was very grateful. Now they were sitting very close; there was not even a single inch of space left. And then suddenly, a strange knock, which did not seem to be of any man’s! There was silence from all three; the wife and the two guests were afraid that he would say open the door.

A donkey came and pushed at the door with its head. The donkey was wet; it wanted shelter for the night. The old man asked one of the men, who was almost sitting on top of the door, to open it. “Some new friend has come,”

Peeking outside, the man said, “This isn’t a friend or anything like a friend. It’s just an ass. It’s not necessary to open up.”

And the woodcutter said “Perhaps you are not aware that at the door of the rich, men are treated as animals, but this is the hut of a poor man and we are accustomed to treating even animals as human beings. Please open the door.” In unison, the men groaned, “But the space?”

This man said, “You don’t understand. It is a poor man’s hut; it is always spacious. Right now, we are sitting; when the donkey comes in, we will all be standing, and we will keep the donkey in the middle, so he feels warm and cozy and loved. Don’t be upset. If it becomes necessary, I will go outside and make enough room.” Can love not do this much as well?”

And now it was the third guest to be allowed in, and everybody resisted, and they said, “This is too much. Where is the donkey going to stand?” They said, “It was better to get lost in the jungle, rather than to be caught in your hut.”

But nothing could be done. When the owner said to open the door, the door was opened.

And the donkey came in. The water was dripping from all over his body and the owner took him into the middle and told all the others to stand around. He said, “You don’t understand. My donkey is of a very philosophical mind. You can say anything, he is never disturbed. He always listens silently.”

I have loved this story which says that the emperor’s palaces are always short of space — although they are so big ….

It is imperative to have a heart full of love. A loving attitude is what we all should have.

Humanness is only born in a man when he has a loving heart. And with a loving heart comes a feeling of deep contentment, a deep and delightful contentment. Have you never noticed, after you’ve shown a little love to someone, that a great wave of contentment, a great thrill of joy pervades your entire being? Have you never realized that the most serene moments of contentment were those which came in moments of unconditional love?

Pure love can only survive if it is not adulterated by conditions; a conditional love is not love. Have you never had a feeling of contentment after having smiled at a stranger in the street? Didn’t a breeze of peace follow it? There is no limit to the wave of tranquil joy you will feel when you lift a fallen man, when you support a fallen person, when you present a sick man with flowers — but not when you do it because he is your father or because she is your mother. No, the person may not be anyone in particular to you, but simply to give a gift is itself a great reward, a great pleasure.

Love should well up inside you — love for plants, love for human beings, love for strangers, love for foreigners, love for those on their way toward the moon and the stars. Your love should be ever on the increase.

Osho: From Sex to Superconsciousness: Chapter 3: The pinnacle of meditation (Excerpts)
Osho: Bodhidharma: The Greatest Zen Master Chapter #18 Chapter title: Wakefulness is awareness (Excerpts)

तेरे मेरे बीच नहीं है ख़ून का रिश्ता फिर भी क्यूँ
तेरी आँख के सारे आँसू मेरी आँख से बहते हैं
…………..प्रेम भण्डारी

tere mere biich nahii.n hai KHuun kaa rishta phir bhii kyuu.n
terii aa.nkh ke saare aa.nsuu merii aa.nkh se bahte hai.n

Though we are not related by blood,
why do my eyes tear up when you cry?

From the beautiful treasure of Gulzar’s poems and songs, this wonderful song “Sirf ahesas hai ye, ruh se mahesus karo, pyar ko pyar hi rahene do koi naam na do.” is from the film “Khamoshi (1969) sung by Lata mangeshkar and composed by Hemant Kumar.

(318) Humne Dekhi Hai Un Aankhon Ki Mehakti Khusboo | Lata Mangeshkar| Khamoshi 1969 Songs| Waheeda Rehman – YouTube

8 thoughts on “Be Loving.”

  1. Love is natural and love is not conditional. First principles of love so easily forgotten. Thanks for the reminder Rajiv!!! Articulate and moving as always!

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