Aur jeene ko kya chahiye?

The power of family is not measured in grand gestures, but lies in the invisible threads of love, bonds, and relationships that hold us together. It is what turns ordinary moments into lifelong memories, and what carries us through life’s deepest valleys.

Like every family, ours too has its share of likes and dislikes, gossips and occasional heartburns. We are far from perfect. But beneath it all lies a deeper truth – we are a melting pot of love and relationships. And when it truly matters, those bonds rise above everything else, holding us together in ways that only family can. In moments of celebration, these bonds amplify our joy; in times of loss, they soften our grief. Life, after all, has its own way of blending joy and sorrow, often in the very same breath.

At my daughter Tithi’s wedding sangeet rehearsals, we experienced exactly that – the dance of grief and celebration walking hand in hand, reminding us that it is the bond of family that makes life both bearable and beautiful.

It is in such moments that the strength of family reveals itself. We discover how love can transform pain into courage, how togetherness can turn sorrow into shared strength, and how memories created in the shadow of loss can shine even brighter. This is the spirit that made our “family song” not just a performance, but a timeless memory of resilience and love.

The Family Song

My son Kshitij, who is a choreographer and editor, had conceptualised a special “family song.” The idea was simple yet beautiful — to introduce our crazy, enthusiastic family to Tithi’s in-laws through a joyful, choreographed video before the big stage performance. Weeks of planning went into it. Dates were coordinated, considering everyone’s schedules, including some of our family members who were in the USA and eager to join online. After careful coordination, a Saturday was finally marked on the calendar. The location was set at Tithi’s maternal uncle’s house, and the entire maternal side of the family was excited to participate.

A Sudden Loss

But just a few days before the shoot, tragedy struck. On Tuesday of that week i.e. on 9th October 2018, my mother-in-law, Vimala Ben, whom I fondly call my mother-in-love, passed away. Wednesday was her funeral. And Saturday was the day of the shoot we had been preparing for with so much anticipation.

In that moment of grief, a question hung over us: Should we go ahead with the shoot?

Remembering Vimala Ben

For me, Vimala Ben was not just Ketki’s mother, but a motherly presence who always held a special place in my heart. Ketki and I had been married for over 35 years, and yet she would blush if I spoke to her. She would never look me straight in the eye — always smiling shyly, looking elsewhere while replying. At the dining table, she refused to sit directly across from me because she said she could never eat comfortably in front of me! 😀

With the children, she was full of nautanki, laughter, and mischief. But with me, she would just giggle and stay quiet. Kshitij loved teasing her — often making me hug her just to see her embarrassed. And I too enjoyed that little game. I can still see her in those moments — face turning pink, eyes sparkling, her smile melting with motherly love.

We as a family, and I as your son in-love, will always miss you, dear Vimala Ben on your 7th death anniversary and forever. 🙏

The Family’s Decision

When the family gathered to decide whether to go ahead with the shoot, it was clear to all of us: she would have loved to see her family dancing at her granddaughter’s wedding sangeet. She would have wanted the house to be filled with joy, laughter, and togetherness. With that thought, we chose to honor her by carrying on with the plan.

The Shoot Day

And so, on Saturday, we came together. There were tears behind the smiles, heaviness in our hearts, and yet a determination in our spirit. The camera captured laughter, dancing, and joy – but what it could not capture was the undercurrent of emotions: the grief of losing our pillar, the strength of bonds that held us, and the healing power of celebrating together.

Kshitij, with his creativity, brought the family’s energy alive on screen. Each step, each smile, each move carried with it both the sorrow of absence and the resilience of love. [ Click the Instagram link to see behind-the-scenes moments from our family song. https://www.instagram.com/share/BBC1_6WmEr]

The Lesson

This experience taught me something profound: life does not wait for us to be ready. Joy and sorrow walk hand in hand, and it is in embracing both that we discover the true richness of life. Creating this memory at such a time was not just about a dance performance — it was about resilience, togetherness, and honoring the love of someone who would have wanted us to celebrate.

An Invitation

I invite you to watch this video with this backdrop of emotions. On the surface, you will see a family dancing. But if you look closely, you will also see love, loss, strength, and celebration blending into one. That is what makes life so rich, so beautiful.….And what more does one need to live? — Aur jeene ko kya chahiye?

तू भी सुलगती रेत पर वो प्यास लिख के देख,
मुमकिन है ज़मीन चीर के पानी निकल पड़े! ………..चंदन अयोधी

“tu bhi sulagati ret par vo pyaas likh ke dekh,
mumkin haizamin cheer ke paani nikal pade!……….Chandan Ayodhi

Try writing that thirst on the scorching sand yourself,
It is possible that the earth may split open and water might flow!

This beautiful song is from the movie “Dil Dhadakne Do” (2015) written by Javed Akhtar, composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy and sung by: Yashita Sharma, Manish Kumar Tipu, Farhan Akhtar, Shankar Mahadevan, Sukhwinder Singh

Gallan Goodiyaan | Dil Dhadakne Do | Kshitij Vaishnav | Dance Station